eyes and and envisioning the flashbacks...I never thought they would persecute like this. It is not just wishing to turn back the hands of time. It is not just because of missing those seconds. It is not because of I know I will never have them again.
I wish I could turn back the hands of time,
I miss every single second of it immensely,
I know I will never have the same feeling of that happiness again.
Yet, they don't hurt me at all. It's the reality of life in a way.
Nevertheless, something hurts me genuinely, in troth something gives me pain which also makes me afraid of the future, of what I might go through in times to come. Questioning things, not to find out the answer, being in a quandary and then giving up on trying to find out the asnwers...
All starts with asking "were they real?" and then asking "why?".
There was a kid who loved the toys more than anything in life, but she had no toys..., until an angel seemed in her life. The angel gave her everything that made the little kid chuffed and bless. She, then had everything that a kid would like to have. As the time went by, she realized that she didn't love the angel because of it gave her things that made her happy. She loved the angel even more than all the toys. She adored the angel for making her happy and making her life amazing.
The angel made her connected itself so much that she felt like she could live
without the toys, but not without the angel anymore. She wanted to be just like the angel, but no one else.
The most important thing is, she felt like the angel loved her so much, more than anyone could love.
She was merry, because the angel was always going to be with her, never going to leave.
She was tranquil, because she was safe; she knew she always had a place to hide when she was hurt- angel's arms.
...But then one day, the angel left. The angel left her with all the toys it gave to her. The angel left leaving behind every little thing that it gave to her. With no explanation.
The girl lost what she valued most. She felt "alone".
She wanted to escape. Escaping from all the things that the angel gave her, escaping from all the things that remind her of the angel. She wanted to run, she wanted to shout, she wanted to cry out loud. However, she did not. Then she wanted to face the angel, but the angel was somewhere distant, where the little kid could never go.
("were the angel and all the things it did real or not?"
-It must have been real, because I don't think a lie can last that long and I don't think a lie has the power to make someone so chuffed and bless.
-It can't be real, because if it was real (if the angel's love was real), the angel would never leave her, the angel would like to witness every second of the little kid would have in her life.
"Why did angel leave if it really loved the kid so?"
.... )
The little kid sometimes reminisces things, closes her eyes and then feels a huge hole in her life, in her mind and in her heart which will never be filled. However, she believes that angels exist. It's maybe all about to recongnize if they are real angels or not.
(it is exactly not written considering a love story.)
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