GOODBYE, I'LL REMEMBER
Everybody has some of them, some coffers
inside which the darkest, the saddest, the bluest memories, people, places are.
We have the closure, we do it, we put those things in that coffer, we say the
farewell and move on with our lives. Or
maybe we just think we do it. Yet, at the end, we really do it because time
passes by and there is nothing else which has more power to help us to get over
things; but time itself.
La vie est belle. It is beautiful enough to
help us to recover and enjoy every single day given to us. So, we simply
forget. We don’t forget what happened, we don’t forget how we once felt. Still,
we forget remembering everyday how much we were once hurt.
“Aujourd’hui maman est morte” wrote Albert
Camus and hit the literature & philosophy world of the time. It is still a
hit, such a reaction showed by the news of someone’s death.
Today, in
the beginning of a new year, I had a similar moment.
She died today. Or maybe yesterday since she
was seen dead today in the morning but she might have died yesterday at night
as well. I can never be sure of that. But, she died.
Am I too
cold or too indifferent? None of them. And I know this is not a coincidence,
learning about the blue news in the very beginning of the new year... There have
to be closures, there have to be lessons, there have to be better ways to keep
our loved ones in our lives.
I am not too cold to your death. I once
had loved you. And I really wish things had been much different. I am sad. I
hope it is better in where you are right now. I hope your soul will be in peace
in where you are.
You are
gone in the start of a new year. You literally left the place behind covered
all in white. It is snowing and you are gone. I will keep all the books you
have given me. I will remember the poem you wrote for me. I will remember the
new year eves we had spent together.
Goodbye
grandma. I will remember.
