GOODBYE, I'LL REMEMBER

        Everybody has some of them, some coffers inside which the darkest, the saddest, the bluest memories, people, places are. We have the closure, we do it, we put those things in that coffer, we say the farewell and move on with our lives.  Or maybe we just think we do it. Yet, at the end, we really do it because time passes by and there is nothing else which has more power to help us to get over things; but time itself.

   La vie est belle. It is beautiful enough to help us to recover and enjoy every single day given to us. So, we simply forget. We don’t forget what happened, we don’t forget how we once felt. Still, we forget remembering everyday how much we were once hurt.

   “Aujourd’hui maman est morte” wrote Albert Camus and hit the literature & philosophy world of the time. It is still a hit, such a reaction showed by the news of someone’s death.

Today, in the beginning of a new year, I had a similar moment.

She died today. Or maybe yesterday since she was seen dead today in the morning but she might have died yesterday at night as well. I can never be sure of that. But, she died.

Am I too cold or too indifferent? None of them. And I know this is not a coincidence, learning about the blue news in the very beginning of the new year... There have to be closures, there have to be lessons, there have to be better ways to keep our loved ones in our lives. 

      I am not too cold to your death. I once had loved you. And I really wish things had been much different. I am sad. I hope it is better in where you are right now. I hope your soul will be in peace in where you are.

You are gone in the start of a new year. You literally left the place behind covered all in white. It is snowing and you are gone. I will keep all the books you have given me. I will remember the poem you wrote for me. I will remember the new year eves we had spent together.

Goodbye grandma. I will remember.